I'm Clark Kent Minus the Hipster Glasses

Sometimes the transition from Summer to Fall can be such a pain in the hiney, particularly when it comes to fashion. I'm sure you realize that I'm the type of person to plan out her outfit the night before I have to be someplace. Obviously I would not make the same fashion choices in 90 and 70 degree weather. Thus, the Autumn often leaves me asking myself the archetypal question: What should I wear tomorrow?

Oh, I know. You toil over it. You obsess. I understand. Who among us hasn't decided on a little sweater and pants combo at 8am, when it is still a brisk 64 degrees outside (and colder in the house for some reason? What is the deal with that?) Then, by noon, its a whopping 86 degrees and you have to keep your arms at your sides at all times b/c you've sweat through your cute little burnt orange top? Oh the horror!

Thankfully, I live 2 blocks away from my office, so I can go home and change. But I'm sure that you, my friends, are not all so lucky.

Throw into the mix the notion of taking an Autumn vacation. Maybe you've grown accustomed to Late September weather in New York... but how is it in North Carolina? Maine? Spain? New Zealand? You get where I'm going with this.

Whether you're dressing for a Fall trip (lucky you! I am not!) or just a trip to the outlets, I'm here to teach you the art of mix-and-match, the art of layering, the art of becoming the Superman/Clark Kent of Fashion. I've chosen two base outfits - items that I assume we all own some sort of variation of - and I've played around with them to form 6 distinctly different looks.

I don't recommend changing in a phone booth, though, because they ARE see through.


The first ensemble that we're going to play around with is the age old (well, maybe not AGE old, but good ol') combination of the white t-shirt and jeans. Everyone should own a variation of these items, and if you don't, well, I'm not even sure I want you reading my blog anymore. Go out and purchase these, and then come back and continue reading.

The "favorite" collection from the Gap are great standards to keep in your collection. They wash well, have minimal shrinkage, and are soft against the skin.

These basic blue jeans are from Loft, but any old pair will do. Fyi, these are on sale for $30 right now!! PS - Recognize that bracelet from the last blog? I do, and I now own it as well.



Scenario 1. You arrive in a foreign country... lets pretend its Spain. You and your husband - lets pretend his name is Scott - decide you're going to explore Madrid. Shopping and eating will be involved. Its temperate weather - about 75. You're obviously going to need comfortable sandals for all of the walking you're about to embark on, and a nice tote to house all of the gifts and trinkets that you're going to bring home to your friend... lets say her name is Heather.

I'm a scarf gal. I think it really dresses up a plain top. You KNOW I'm an Anthropologie girl as well, so now can I not love this scarf? I would put this on and feel very Art Historyish. Don't the colors just scream "Gaudi?" I think they do.

When I see a girl wearing a funky scarf and big earrings, like this pair from Juicy Couture, I assume she's an up-and-coming fashion designer, and I just want to be her best friend.



A great tote for vacation, day trips, work, etc, by Cole Haan.

These gladiator sandals, from B. Makowsky, just look supple and comfortable. I'm probably going to order them (from Piperlime) as soon as I'm done typing this blog.

Scenario 2: Well, I guess its pretty much the same scenario as the first one, except, oh no, its not as temperate as you thought it would be! Its only about 60 degrees, and you might be a little chilly walking through the shady backstreets of Barcelona in only a tshirt. No fear - you've packed a few extra pieces in your luggage! Still, you want to bring home gifts for "Heather" though... that's an integral part of either scenario.

This cardigan, from Anthropologie, will keep your shoulders warm while keeping you the envy of everyone who passes you, because, well, its just a really cool looking sweater.


Metallics are pretty much neutral in my book, so this great shopping tote, from Kate Spade, should become part of your permanent collection.

I've found that Steve Madden flats are among the most comfortable around.




Scenario 3: Its now 9pm on the above mentioned day. You're pretty tired from traipsing around the city, but, hey, you're on vacation and you want to live it up. You plan to go out for some drinks and a light dinner at a very popular, trendy cafe bar.


Since you don't have the energy to change, you throw on this cropped riding blazer from Banana Republic, and your outfit is instantly dressier and of-the-moment.




Its nighttime, and you're on vacation, so why not put a special headband on? This one is from Juicy Couture.


This strappy heel, from Nine West, is gray leather w/black piping - so much more special than a basic black shoe.


You know my feelings on evening bags. It is never appropriate to wear your daytime bag out at night, and the same goes for when you're on vacation! Pack a cute and versatile clutch, like this one from Calvin Kline, and you won't hear a peep out of me.



Here is basic outfit/item #2. The sundress, here from Gap. Any sun dress will do, provided it doesn't look too tropical (a print with pineapples is a NO) or too summery. A neutral black, brown, tan, red, or any other subdued solid color is much more versatile and seasonless.




Scenario 1: Its a beautiful warm morning, and you're going to be touring some local vineyards, and possibly get a quick bite to eat at a cafe on the water.

This necklace, from Urban Outfitters, looks vintage, but obviously its not, because I just told you it was from Urban Outfitters. Regardless, you want people to think you're an expert at scouring estate sales for priceless ivory pendants. At least I want people to think that about me.

These espadrille wedges, from Steve Madden, are a much prettier alternative to a flip flop, and they're comfortable - trust me, I own several pairs of Steve Madden wedge sandals. I could walk miles in them, and you can too.

I love this little pouch, from The Sak. It makes me feel like Robin Hood, and I might even rob a rich person and give the cash to some homeless person. You just never know with me.

I'd throw a colorful cardigan, like this one from Old Navy, in my bag in case it gets breezy by the water. Remember - we're having lunch by the water. I'm having the watercress salad.


Scenario #2: Its the afternoon. You're dying to check out some of the local museums, but you also heard that there's a modeling scout in the area. Secretly, you've always thought you'd be a great model, and you just know you'll be discovered today. Its the long legs. Anyhow, its getting a little chilly because it is now after 4pm, but you still want to show off the stems to Mr. Model scout. What to do what to do?

You're going to keep on your sundress from earlier and throw this knee length sweater jacket, from Anthropologie, right over your dress. This is a great piece to have in your collection - I can also see this sweater over a pair of skinny jeans, or even as an evening jacket.


Add a rich burgundy clutch from Charles David. You want to look high fashion, after all, don't you?



These interesting huarache heels, from Nine West, say to me that you long for the casualness of vacation, but you're still aware that your legs look longer and more muscular in heels.


Scenario #3: It turns out that you were not scouted by the modeling agent today. That jackass. You've been crying for many hours over it, and now you've decided that the only thing that could possibly cheer you up is a $500 dinner at an over the top expensive restaurant.

You're a piggy poo, so you still keep on the dress that you've now been wearing for, oh, about 14 hours if my calculations are correct. Whatever - you're in a foreign country. Its not like you're going to run into anyone that knows you.

Cover your bare shoulders with this beige pashmina, from Jones New York.


You certainly can't go overseas - or out to dinner - without bringing along a merkin. Gold Clutch, Lauren Merkin.

Throw your hair up in a bun and let these stunners, from, Anthropologie (who but?) dangle from your ears. You might be discovered tonight, after all.


Who cares if these heels, by Enzo Angiolino, hurt like a bitch after 15 minutes? I assume after the day you've had that you'll be enjoying, oh, I don't know, 27 cocktails tonight? You won't feel your feet after number 6, so suck it up.




Having now saved you from the drama of fall dressing, and possibly the trouble of over packing, and spending that extra $50 per bag that the stupid airlines now charge, I feel like I deserve a nice Cosmopolitan myself. So, I'm going to do what I always do when I'm drinking at home - put on my pajamas, a nice pair of really fancy shoes that hurt much less when I'm sitting on the couch while wearing them, and watch House Hunters.

Next up... you tell me? What do you want to read about?

Accessorize!

Prior to the fall fashion blog and my much needed blog-fashion-sabbatical, I had begun researching a blog on accessories that I just thought you and I could not live without. Well, I had all of the photos saved on my computer, so I figure that I may as well share them with you.

Jewelry and scarves, to me, are, quite literally the icing on the cake. Ok, maybe not literally, because that would mean that I am made of cake, but you catch my drift. A hunk of yellow cake is lovely... but a hunk of yellow cake covered in chocolate frosting that I've painstakingly piped on in a shell patter? Divine.

Now I ask you, do you want to be an Entemann's cake sans the delicious marshmallow icing or do you want to be that stunning strawberry shortcake in the boutique bakery window? I think we all know the answer to that. Besides, cake is awesome.

Some items are for fun and some items are forever. Those of you that know me in real life I'm sure have seen me wear this necklace many times. Its a staple for me - a signature piece if you will. I encourage you to seek out a piece like it - something that you think just has your name written all over it. I guess this one does have my name sort of written all over it, as its an initial pendant, but your signature piece might be a stunning watch... beautiful sapphire studs... a funky right hand cocktail ring. Explore. Experiment. I found my jewelry identity, below, on QVC.com.


Wear this bracelet from Loft and you look like, I dunno, a stylish artist? A funky biker? Regardless, its hot. Go buy it.

Lauren Merkin makes the most stunning clutch bags. This python bag is surprisingly neutral.

This bohemian scarf from Old Navy makes me want to not shower for a week and read a copy of the Feminine Mystique. Ok, I'd shower but maybe not shave my armpits.

This bracelet, also from Old Navy, is a show stopper.

What a weird, yet strangely alluring, scarf from Anthropologie. Its like a fabric donut that goes around your neck.

I try and invest in one funky pair of earrings from Anthropologie per season. This marcasite & turquoise set might be my fall pick.

This necklace, also from Anthroplogie, looks like a string of Robin's eggs, and who doesn't love wearing a dozen or so eggs around their neck?

If I could afford this bag, by Lauren Merkin, I'd feel a lot like Grace Kelly when I wore it.

This owl ring, from Mod Cloth, is how I summoned Hedwig to come to my window.

If I owned this ring, by Kenneth J Lane, I'd make people look into it, because it seems very hypnotizing.

Juicy Couture, you're really surprising me lately with some of your accessories. And here I thought you just catered to skinny 17 year olds who longed to wear words written across their ass. My apologies.

I have a pair of blue rose-shaped studs from Anthropologie. If I had waited I could have ordered this set, from Forever 21, for 1/8th of the price.

When you're wearing this Burberry bracelet and someone accosts you on the street, you can smack them upside the head and cause a cerebral hemorrhage.

Who doesn't love a good chandelier earring? I know I love them. These are from Arden B, which I'm pretty sure is like an expensive version of Contempo Casual.

Bored with your standard jewelry that you always tote out for a formal affair? Try this Anthropologie cuff instead.

Look for a new blog next weekend! Topic TBA - suggestions always welcome!

The Kitty and the Tree

Hi readers. It's been a very busy summer for me, but I'm back and ready to talk about Fall fashion.

From now on I'm going to be writing my new blog posts from our upstate house. With three jobs, I barely have time to breathe at home, let alone write, so my blog will be my new little upstate hobby. You can expect a new blog from me bi-monthly, and perhaps little snip-its here and there if I find some interesting items that I feel you MUST know about.

This new arrangement makes me feel very author-ish, with the whole retreating up to my country house to get some writing done. Lets just hope I don't go the JD route and start drinking my own pee. I'm pretty confident that I'm not that close to the ledge, though. Yet, at least.

Anyhow. Fall fashion. Its always been a subject very near and dear to my heart. I've mentioned a few times that I was reared and raised by a bonafide shopaholic. As a result, back-to-school shopping was sort of a religious experience. Without fail, every year I'd pick out five new outfits, two "gym" outfits, 2 new pairs of shoes and a new pair of sneakers, as well as a new backpack and a new purse. Yes, I carried a purse to kindergarten. Where else would I have stashed my chap stick, candy cigarettes and My Little Pony comb?

I was able to gain funding for my August spree through college. Even at age 22, I was able to convince my mother that new shirts were imperative - a new purse was in dire need. Believe me, she didn't take much convincing.

Now, as an adult, as soon as we pass that famous Summer fashion turning point - July 4th - my mind swims with thoughts of boots and sweaters and suede and cashmere. I was obviously that girl who showed up on the first day of school in my new jeans/boots/sweater combo despite the fact that it may have still been ninety degrees out.

For the week preceding the first day of school, each night I would lay out all of my new acquisitions on my bed and think of all of the different outfits they might make... I'd combine them with things I already had and I would put on a fashion show EVERY night for my parents. Its no wonder my mother didn't want another child.

Am I the only person that still likes to lay all of my new shopping purchases out on my bed and stare at them in all their glory before they find their new home in my closet? I hope not. You probably pay a lot for your purchases - go ahead and admire them a little bit.

This Autumn I have quite a list of items/styles/fabrics/colors that I am coveting. Once the weather starts to feel a little crisp, I immediately want to wear colors only found on trees. Fall trees are at the pinnacle of fashion, as far as I'm concerned. Burgundy... burnt orange... camel... grass green... they all just make me want to pick a pumpkin or jump in a pile of leaves or something of the sort. I also like teal, which is obviously not found on a tree to my knowledge, but, oh well, I crave this color as well.

This wrap sweater, from Loft, actually looks like I threw a bunch of leaves over my shoulder.

I really enjoy this pink, dramatic sleeved sweater from Loft. It makes me feel very Romeo & Juliet, except I don't plan to commit suicide and I'm not 14 years old. That little whore.

This sweater, from The Limited, will be you best friend and won't tell the world if you gain a few pounds, b/c its billowy shape will conceal it. Also, this Asian has great shiny hair.

Some days I want to look like a fall goddess, but its just too hot out. This shirt, from The Limited, is not a comfortable cap sleeve shape, but its also made out of tshirt material.

I can just see myself basting a turkey and baking an apple pie in this pumpkin colored top, from The Limited. Wow, I wish there was a Limited near me so I could actually try on some of these items.


If "cozy" were a sweater, it would be this tan little number from Guess.


I don't go out often, but when I do I'll be wearing this little black tunic. How can I not? Its made by the brand "Heather."


This little plaid top, from Old Navy, looks ideal for a weekend of apple picking upstate, and its flannel plaid look reminds me of my high school days, when I looked like a grungy boy.


Normally I don't bother purchasing button down shirts. I wear them once, and then after I wash them they look like hell and I rarely iron. This one, from Banana Republic, is wrinkle free!


I love a pair of Old Navy cords, like these tan ones, in the fall.

Please please please invest in a denim pencil skirt. They're seasonless. I wear mine all summer with a tank and espadrilles, and it looks just as great in the fall with boots and a corduroy blazer. This one is from Loft.

I'm so glad I got on board with the skinny jean trend last year, b/c it looks like its coming back for round two this fall. This pair is from Loft. I'm morally opposed, however, to the term "jeggings."


Cold weather + being an English Professor = I must own tweed pants (These, from The Limited)


Sometimes I feel like a bloated hogger, and I just can't bear to put on skinny jeans. These wide leg trouser jeans, from 7 for All Mankind, are much more forgiving. And they look great with heeled boots and a sweater.


How hot is this camel sweater dress? Can you believe its from - gasp - LLbean??? I swear its true. If I didn't have cellulite, I'd buy it for myself.


This dress, from Generra, is a great Summer to Fall transition piece.


I love the rich jewel tone of the top of this dress, from Bcbg. Although I usually swear by their dresses, their fall collection actually sucks this year. They're all super tight and/or super short. Where's the love for size 8, Bcbg? The world isn't ready to see the area between my hip and knee.


Ah, teal. The only color I'll wear in fall that cannot be found on a maple tree. To compensate, when I wear this Banana Republic dress I'll drink a shot of maple syrup.


So, I don't have any weddings to go to this Fall, but if I did, I'd definitely be sporting this stunning green gown, from Rachel Pally.

This Juicy headband makes me feel like I'm a college student circa 1968.


Once it dips below 89 degrees, I break out all of my cool scarves. Its the ex-theatre girl in me, I think. I love this one, from Anthropologie.


Oh Fall... what would you be without a new purse?

I feel that if I purchase this bag, from Juicy Couture, that it might make all of my life's problems go away. Its simply the most perfect Fall bag, IMO.


When I don my '68 fall headband, above, I obviously also throw on this embroidered purse. From Anthroplogie.


A little red headed birdie that I know purchased this bag, from Coach, and isn't sure what to wear with it. I think its a stunning pseudo-neutral. I'd pair it with neutral black, deep chocolate brown, charcoal or gray. It would really pop if paired with a knee-length camel wool coat.


Every girl needs a pair of knee high boots. This pair, from Steve Madden, has a forgiving wedge that is much easier on the back.

Although they're slightly elf-like, I'm strangely drawn to these Nine West booties.


I had a pair of boots like this in high school and I wore them until the zipper, literally, fell off. This pair is by Kelsi Dagger.

I dream of these teal suede pumps, from Guess, every night.


You need a basic black high heel boot. You just DO. Go and buy these, from Banana Republic.

Sometimes you just don't have it in you to mentally put on a pair of high heels. On that day, try these suede flats from Steve Madden, instead.

Happy fall shopping! Here is a color guide for you to print out and take with you in your journey to, like myself, look like a tree.