I've Got Jungle Fever

You're right. My husband isn't black. I'm talking about a different kind of Jungle Fever... one of the animal print variety.

Roar. Meow. Growl. Hiss. Whinny (I figure Zebras must make the same sound as horses, no?)

That's right, we're talking about harnessing some wild beasts of Africa and wearing their flying colors on our bodies. That being said, please know that I would never wear actual fur! I'm referring to good ol' animal printed fabric.

Its not just for strippers anymore. Or southern white trash. We can, and should, all give it a try.

There is just something so fashion forward about a hint of leopard print pointy toe shoe peeping out beneath wide leg black pants. Its mysterious. Its interesting. Its, "wow I thought that woman was boring in that plain black suit, but now that I see her leopard print shoe, I think there might be more to her than meets the eye..."

Who doesn't want to exude a little mystery - a little sex appeal? Well, for my money, animal print accomplishes this like no other color/fabric/print. Yeah, there's a bit of whore in it. True, there's a bit of trash in it. But that's what makes it so alluring. It gives the apparent "good girl" that added dimension... an added possibility... People will wonder what you really do on your weekends, and what you're really up to at 3am... even if the truth is that you've really go to bed at 10pm every night. No one has to know the truth.

So, throw on some leopard, some cheetah, some zebra, and try on the person of someone with a little edge, enigma, and, dare I say, sluttiness?

Ah... just a few of my favorite animal print accessories. If you're scared to go with a full on leopard print article of clothing, consider an accent piece. A Cheetah print shoe really pops when paired with a simple black dress or pants.


First of all, my apologies for my photography - it was unusually bad when I took these photos the other day. I hope you get the gist of the photos!

Here Stella models a look that I put together with JPS in mind. Do you think that animal print is too much for a professional office? Think again, my friend. I've paired this leopard print camisole (The Limited) with a black pencil skirt (Loft), a black cardigan (Marshalls) and a skinny black belt (Ellen Tracy) A little bit of animal peeking out of a demure cardigan says, "I'm super professional, but I also like to get drunk and dance on bars on the weekends." At least that what Stella thinks. Sheeee crazy.



Stella wants you to know that animal prints don't have to necessarily imitate the colors found in nature. Here's a great casual look. She wears a pink animal print cotton blouse (Loft) and my favorite jeans (Banana Republic)



Animal print for evening? Well, I think they were made for each other. After all, aren't leopards and other big cats nocturnal? I feel like they are. Anyhow, here we have Stella all dressed up and ready to roar in a black silk top (Loft) and a mixed media animal print skirt that I bought at Kohl's, literally, about 8 years ago. I'm pretty sure its Nine & Co. I think I wore it to Christine's wedding, actually.

Still not sold on animal prints?? Why not pick up a cute pair of underwear in a cheetah print? VS has a ton of cute styles in cotton. Look at this little whore Stella modeling a pair below.

This cardigan, from Wheels and Doll Baby, is HOT. I'd wear it to work with a black pencil skirt and spikey heels; I'd wear it at night with dark dark skinny jeans and strappy high heeled sandals. If it wasn't $190, I'd own it right now.

Now here's a sweater, from Loft, that I actually do own. LOVE this zebra print cardigan. I usually wear it with a brown tank and dark jeans. Its laid back jungle.

A cute cheetah blouse, from Loft, would be lovely under a brightly colored cardigan.

This shell, from Banana Republic, is so special from the back. I imagine you wearing this under a suit during the day, and then taking off the suit jacket for happy hour and revealing this stunning rear view.

Zebra pencil skirt, from White House Black market. To town down the wildness factor, pair it with a black turtle neck and knee high boots in the winter.

An airy zebra print skirt, from Anthropologie, is a cute summer time piece when paired with a black tank and flip flops.

Have a summer wedding to go to? Wear this dress, from Ann Taylor (not Loft!) All eyes will be on you, but in a good way. Meee-ow.

Who knew Zebra's loved to swim? Tankini, Ralph Lauren.

If you're still scared of letting out your inner panther, consider some of the accessories below.

Leopard print heel, Charles David.

How sexy are these shoes for a summer night out? Franco Sarto.

A very low key alternative, from Steve Madden.

Hey, snakes are animals too! And this bag from Coach makes me want to wear them on my arm.

This clutch, from Steve Madden, will wake up your same old little black dress.

Got the fever but scared to show it? Try out a cute pair of earrings, here from Betsy Johnson.

I imagine myself wearing these glasses, from Kate Spade, while driving a convertible, with a white scarf holding back my hair. Modern Jackie O.

I know there's a little bit of jungle bitch in all of you... don't be afraid to fly your cheetah flag, you little whore.

I have to confess: I binge and purge

...my closet. Often.

If you've read my pocketbook blog, you know that I was raised by a compulsive shopper. Its in my genes. I buy things for a variety of reasons. Sure, I often purchase things I like. But many things are just a really good price; so what if the Loft sweater doesn't fit me, its 9.99!! Many things I buy w/the aspiration of losing weight. Some things I buy without trying on, and then I'm just too lazy to go to the store to return them.

After awhile, these items start to really cramp my style. I get angry when I see a blue sweater sitting in my drawer that I know I will never reach for. Why, blue sweater, are you blocking the view of my favorite black camisole?

That's when its time to purge.

I decided to chronicle tonight's purge, so that I can teach you all the ways of closet purging and maintenance. So many people are under the impression that with regard to clothes, shoes, and accessories, the more the merrier. Its just not true. Quality is much more important than quantity.

Are you a hoarder? Do you still have crop tops from your junior year of high school clogging up the back floor of your closet? You need to clear out! I promise you, its cathartic. Plus, for every item that you'll never look at again, there might be a loving owner out there who will cherish it forever. Or at least for this season. If your friends don't want your leftovers (I always feel bad offering used clothes to my friends) then, believe me, the local thrift store will be more than happy to take your castoffs.

Now journey with me as I purge.

When my closet area (I don't have a REAL closet, only a group of two armoires and a skinny dresser, enclosed by some curtains) starts to look appalling, I know its time for a purge. Poor Stella feels so violated that I posted this.

One of the first things that I, and you should, do when purging is separate anything with sentimental value. These are items that you, perhaps, wore and loved ten years ago, but they aren't quite in style anymore, and probably never will be again. I loved these two purple shirts in my early 20's, but at age 32, I'm not so keen on showing my belly button at the office anymore. I can't part with them, nor can I part with this blue kitty cat t-shirt, so I'll pack them away in an under the bed box; I get to keep them, but they're not cluttering my drawers or closet.

The next thing that you should do is separate anything that is stained, ripped, pilled, or generally gross. Your friends don't want a sweater full of holes, and quite honestly, neither do the people who shop at the Goodwill. Don't insult them - if its broken, chuck it out.

There might be items that you like on the hanger, but just don't work on your body. For example, this button down shirt from Loft is so cute on the hanger, but it makes my arm look like a Virginia ham. I know I'll never wear it, so it will be in my purge pile.

On the fence about some items? Try them on, put them aside. Sleep on it. Will you really wear them or will they sit in your drawer? If you think there's a chance you will, then hang onto it. If after six months the item still sits unworn, then say goodbye to it at your next purge.

Sometimes purging is like a treasure hunt. You might find items you've forgotten about! I found this really cute Loft top under an old denim jacket on a hanger. Its like a free shopping trip!

When I present my items to my friends - or when I pack them up in a bag to send them to the thrift store - I fold them and present them as if it were a store. Who wants to look through a bag of wrinkled clothes? Clothes demand respect! I don't know about you, but I assign feelings to inanimate objects... I feel a little bad for clothes when I give them away... so I want them to put their best foot forward when they're trying to be adopted by a new owner. I realize this is insane, but I know I'm not the only one out there that does this. Aww little blue shirt. I hope you have a nice life with KK.

After the purge you'll feel cleansed... your drawers will be neat...

And your closets will be clutter free! (note my old skool caboodles) Here is closet #1 - shirts and shoes...

And closet number 2, dresses, bottoms and handbags...

And you'll have a nice little pile of treats to give away to friends and strangers...

When you do this, the closet fairy gives you good karma, and in your next life, you'll be blessed with...





Hey, I can dream, right??

Don't wear a beaded gown to a baby shower

Ah, the enigmatic party dress code. We all know that we have to go formal for Friday and Saturday night weddings. We all know that we should probably not throw on that little red dress for Aunt Mae's funeral. Hell, we all even know that we should probably pair a cute sundress and a cardigan for that Saturday afternoon baby shower. But how many times have you gotten an invite to an event - a rehearsal dinner on a weeknight, a wedding at 11am on a Sunday, a 50th birthday party at a catering hall - and not had a clue as to what to wear. Do I err on the side of too dressy or on the side of "if I wear this I might look like a slob?" You've suffered over it. I know. Its one of life's big questions; its right up there with "is there life on other planets?" and "where do babies come from?"

But this is one that I'm fully prepared to answer for you today. Oh yes. I've solved once and for all the quandary of how to prepare and dress for even the most enigmatic of events.

First of all, and I know some of you might hate me for this, YOU CAN'T WEAR PANTS. With the exception of possibly a shower, dress pants aren't for parties, they're for work! If you're pregnant or post-surgical or something of the like, I'll give you a pass, but for everyone else - suck it up and throw on a skirt or a dress. Trust me. When a woman wears pants to a wedding, everyone is pointing and talking. I've been the pointer and the talker. Don't be the victim!

The trick is to keep a spare set of accessories in your car, and sit outside and watch other people walk in. Insane? Absolutely. But you're talking to a girl who purchased a plastic mannequin on Ebay to display clothes on. Trust me on this one! I'm not talking about a full outfit change in the back of your Corolla. A spare pair of shoes... a quick earring and bag change... BAM you've gone from funky artistic casual to polished and semi-formal.

Invest in ONE simple, neutral, classic dress. You need one. You've heard that every woman needs a little black dress... well, IMO it can also be a little navy dress, or a little taupe dress, or even a little red dress. Just make sure that the cut is classic, not overly revealing, and around knee-length. Even at the wildest of wild retirement parties, no one really wants to wonder if when you bend over in that tight little number, will they in fact get a flash of the hiney? This is a dress that you can wear to a wedding... to a shower... even to work with cute heels and a cardigan or blazer.


Stella is going to model one of my favorite basic dresses, and then I'm going to show you how to dress up (or dress down) two simple dresses from Ann Taylor Loft (they have some awesome dresses in-store right now! Go see!! plus 40% off clearance this week!)

This dress, which I purchased at Marshalls 5 years ago for 16.99, has seen the inside of many a formal function. Its a black, jersey, wrap style dress, which is ideal. Let me tell you why. First and foremost, we all know black is slimming. Second, its jersey so it packs well in a suitcase and washes in the machine. Third, its a wrap, so if you gain or lose a few pounds, it adjusts accordingly. Awesome.

Here, Stella models a casual look centered on the Marshalls dress. She's dressed it down with a cotton cardigan (Loft) and a wide leather belt (Target). This look could take her to a nice dinner out, to the office, to an afternoon First Holy Communion party. She's ready for anything.

To keep with the casual feel, Stella would choose a cute wedge, such as these, from Steve Madden. A chunky shoe like this always dresses down an outfit.

Stella chooses earthy accessories for this look. Tri-color bracelet, from target. Wristlet, Coach. Earrings, street vendor courtesy of Jen Esquire.

Stella and her husband Tony were invited to a Friday evening wedding, but for a coworker of her husband that she doesn't know very well. Stella decides to use the black dress again, and dress it up a bit without going over the top formal. First, she throws an animal print wrap over her shoulders, because catering halls can get chilly sometimes.

Stella chooses standout accessories to make her look special. Gold wedges, Tahari. Black clutch, my moms closet. I think maybe she got it at Sears. Who knew they had cute stuff?? I usually just go there for screwdrivers and washing machines.

Stella throws on these gold dangly earrings, which I actually bought from Marshalls in FIFTH grade. Yes, these earrings are 20 years old. I've kept them in a silver-saver box all of these years, and they've stayed as good as new!

She throws on a big bold cuff, from Loft. What a fancy pants that Stella is.

This is a simple black strapless Loft dress. Its a great one to keep in your wardrobe because the shape is universally flattering and you never have to worry about it going out of style. The best way to casual-up a dress like this? Throw a knit shrug over it. This one, from Old Navy, is a nice neutral color, so you'll get lots of use out of it. (Obviously you would not wear the tank w/this, but I couldn't edit it out, so imagine it cami-free) With flat, but still posh, sandals from Ninewest, funky earrings from Anthropologie, a demure bracelet from House of Harlow and a little straw clutch from Big Buddha, this outfit is great for a more casual affair. You'll feel put together, but not stuffy and formal.

So, you showed up at the party in the outfit above, but you notice everyone walking into the Sunday afternoon wedding is looking pretty damn formal... you feel dumb. Then you remember that you brought an extra tote with some formal accessories. You breath a sigh of relief. You can transform this look into fancy pants in mere seconds! Throw on some gold Stuart Weitzman heels, change your purse into this metallic Kate Spade number; a dramatic gold bib necklace is a great way to fill in the space between your head and the top of the dress, and with a necklace this dramatic, I'd go with simple earrings, like these from Anthropologie. Now you're ready to steal the show! And if your feet hurt from dancing too much, you know that you have your flats in the car!

This dress is an interesting shape (I personally LOVE the one shoulder look) but its in a great neutral color, especially if you're looking for something other than basic black. Imagine how great this dress would look with a tan! Anyhow, its easy to dress down this dress. Here I've paired it with simple stud earrings from Urban Outfitters, a cute basket weave clutch from Loft, a turqouise bracelet, also from Loft, and very low wedge metallic sandals from Bandolino. Because the dress is slightly dramatic because of the ruffle on the one shoulder, I've kept the accessories on the demure side.

You showed up for the anniversary dinner wearing the above outfit, and now you feel like a dirty hippie because you're the only one who isn't wearing high heels. Oh no! With some quick changes, you go from vacation casual to the best dressed girl in the room. Dramatic earrings and cuff bracelet, from Anthropologie (where else??) Faux python clutch, Cole Haan. Red rose shoes, Pierre Dumas (available at Piperlime.com - they're only $30!!) Its like you're fashion superman, only you're not a man and you don't have to change inside of a phone booth, or wear a weird blue unitard.

Here are some other basic dresses that could easily be dressed up or dressed down. You should probably pick up one of each.

Diane Von Furstenberg "baby doll" dress.


You know I love this dress, no only because its adorable but because its by Bcbg.

Basic doesn't have to be black - try this blue sheath from Banana Republic.

You don't have to spend a ton to get a basic dress. This gray dress is from American Eagle. Its not just for 15 year olds anymore.