I have to confess: I binge and purge

...my closet. Often.

If you've read my pocketbook blog, you know that I was raised by a compulsive shopper. Its in my genes. I buy things for a variety of reasons. Sure, I often purchase things I like. But many things are just a really good price; so what if the Loft sweater doesn't fit me, its 9.99!! Many things I buy w/the aspiration of losing weight. Some things I buy without trying on, and then I'm just too lazy to go to the store to return them.

After awhile, these items start to really cramp my style. I get angry when I see a blue sweater sitting in my drawer that I know I will never reach for. Why, blue sweater, are you blocking the view of my favorite black camisole?

That's when its time to purge.

I decided to chronicle tonight's purge, so that I can teach you all the ways of closet purging and maintenance. So many people are under the impression that with regard to clothes, shoes, and accessories, the more the merrier. Its just not true. Quality is much more important than quantity.

Are you a hoarder? Do you still have crop tops from your junior year of high school clogging up the back floor of your closet? You need to clear out! I promise you, its cathartic. Plus, for every item that you'll never look at again, there might be a loving owner out there who will cherish it forever. Or at least for this season. If your friends don't want your leftovers (I always feel bad offering used clothes to my friends) then, believe me, the local thrift store will be more than happy to take your castoffs.

Now journey with me as I purge.

When my closet area (I don't have a REAL closet, only a group of two armoires and a skinny dresser, enclosed by some curtains) starts to look appalling, I know its time for a purge. Poor Stella feels so violated that I posted this.

One of the first things that I, and you should, do when purging is separate anything with sentimental value. These are items that you, perhaps, wore and loved ten years ago, but they aren't quite in style anymore, and probably never will be again. I loved these two purple shirts in my early 20's, but at age 32, I'm not so keen on showing my belly button at the office anymore. I can't part with them, nor can I part with this blue kitty cat t-shirt, so I'll pack them away in an under the bed box; I get to keep them, but they're not cluttering my drawers or closet.

The next thing that you should do is separate anything that is stained, ripped, pilled, or generally gross. Your friends don't want a sweater full of holes, and quite honestly, neither do the people who shop at the Goodwill. Don't insult them - if its broken, chuck it out.

There might be items that you like on the hanger, but just don't work on your body. For example, this button down shirt from Loft is so cute on the hanger, but it makes my arm look like a Virginia ham. I know I'll never wear it, so it will be in my purge pile.

On the fence about some items? Try them on, put them aside. Sleep on it. Will you really wear them or will they sit in your drawer? If you think there's a chance you will, then hang onto it. If after six months the item still sits unworn, then say goodbye to it at your next purge.

Sometimes purging is like a treasure hunt. You might find items you've forgotten about! I found this really cute Loft top under an old denim jacket on a hanger. Its like a free shopping trip!

When I present my items to my friends - or when I pack them up in a bag to send them to the thrift store - I fold them and present them as if it were a store. Who wants to look through a bag of wrinkled clothes? Clothes demand respect! I don't know about you, but I assign feelings to inanimate objects... I feel a little bad for clothes when I give them away... so I want them to put their best foot forward when they're trying to be adopted by a new owner. I realize this is insane, but I know I'm not the only one out there that does this. Aww little blue shirt. I hope you have a nice life with KK.

After the purge you'll feel cleansed... your drawers will be neat...

And your closets will be clutter free! (note my old skool caboodles) Here is closet #1 - shirts and shoes...

And closet number 2, dresses, bottoms and handbags...

And you'll have a nice little pile of treats to give away to friends and strangers...

When you do this, the closet fairy gives you good karma, and in your next life, you'll be blessed with...





Hey, I can dream, right??

Don't wear a beaded gown to a baby shower

Ah, the enigmatic party dress code. We all know that we have to go formal for Friday and Saturday night weddings. We all know that we should probably not throw on that little red dress for Aunt Mae's funeral. Hell, we all even know that we should probably pair a cute sundress and a cardigan for that Saturday afternoon baby shower. But how many times have you gotten an invite to an event - a rehearsal dinner on a weeknight, a wedding at 11am on a Sunday, a 50th birthday party at a catering hall - and not had a clue as to what to wear. Do I err on the side of too dressy or on the side of "if I wear this I might look like a slob?" You've suffered over it. I know. Its one of life's big questions; its right up there with "is there life on other planets?" and "where do babies come from?"

But this is one that I'm fully prepared to answer for you today. Oh yes. I've solved once and for all the quandary of how to prepare and dress for even the most enigmatic of events.

First of all, and I know some of you might hate me for this, YOU CAN'T WEAR PANTS. With the exception of possibly a shower, dress pants aren't for parties, they're for work! If you're pregnant or post-surgical or something of the like, I'll give you a pass, but for everyone else - suck it up and throw on a skirt or a dress. Trust me. When a woman wears pants to a wedding, everyone is pointing and talking. I've been the pointer and the talker. Don't be the victim!

The trick is to keep a spare set of accessories in your car, and sit outside and watch other people walk in. Insane? Absolutely. But you're talking to a girl who purchased a plastic mannequin on Ebay to display clothes on. Trust me on this one! I'm not talking about a full outfit change in the back of your Corolla. A spare pair of shoes... a quick earring and bag change... BAM you've gone from funky artistic casual to polished and semi-formal.

Invest in ONE simple, neutral, classic dress. You need one. You've heard that every woman needs a little black dress... well, IMO it can also be a little navy dress, or a little taupe dress, or even a little red dress. Just make sure that the cut is classic, not overly revealing, and around knee-length. Even at the wildest of wild retirement parties, no one really wants to wonder if when you bend over in that tight little number, will they in fact get a flash of the hiney? This is a dress that you can wear to a wedding... to a shower... even to work with cute heels and a cardigan or blazer.


Stella is going to model one of my favorite basic dresses, and then I'm going to show you how to dress up (or dress down) two simple dresses from Ann Taylor Loft (they have some awesome dresses in-store right now! Go see!! plus 40% off clearance this week!)

This dress, which I purchased at Marshalls 5 years ago for 16.99, has seen the inside of many a formal function. Its a black, jersey, wrap style dress, which is ideal. Let me tell you why. First and foremost, we all know black is slimming. Second, its jersey so it packs well in a suitcase and washes in the machine. Third, its a wrap, so if you gain or lose a few pounds, it adjusts accordingly. Awesome.

Here, Stella models a casual look centered on the Marshalls dress. She's dressed it down with a cotton cardigan (Loft) and a wide leather belt (Target). This look could take her to a nice dinner out, to the office, to an afternoon First Holy Communion party. She's ready for anything.

To keep with the casual feel, Stella would choose a cute wedge, such as these, from Steve Madden. A chunky shoe like this always dresses down an outfit.

Stella chooses earthy accessories for this look. Tri-color bracelet, from target. Wristlet, Coach. Earrings, street vendor courtesy of Jen Esquire.

Stella and her husband Tony were invited to a Friday evening wedding, but for a coworker of her husband that she doesn't know very well. Stella decides to use the black dress again, and dress it up a bit without going over the top formal. First, she throws an animal print wrap over her shoulders, because catering halls can get chilly sometimes.

Stella chooses standout accessories to make her look special. Gold wedges, Tahari. Black clutch, my moms closet. I think maybe she got it at Sears. Who knew they had cute stuff?? I usually just go there for screwdrivers and washing machines.

Stella throws on these gold dangly earrings, which I actually bought from Marshalls in FIFTH grade. Yes, these earrings are 20 years old. I've kept them in a silver-saver box all of these years, and they've stayed as good as new!

She throws on a big bold cuff, from Loft. What a fancy pants that Stella is.

This is a simple black strapless Loft dress. Its a great one to keep in your wardrobe because the shape is universally flattering and you never have to worry about it going out of style. The best way to casual-up a dress like this? Throw a knit shrug over it. This one, from Old Navy, is a nice neutral color, so you'll get lots of use out of it. (Obviously you would not wear the tank w/this, but I couldn't edit it out, so imagine it cami-free) With flat, but still posh, sandals from Ninewest, funky earrings from Anthropologie, a demure bracelet from House of Harlow and a little straw clutch from Big Buddha, this outfit is great for a more casual affair. You'll feel put together, but not stuffy and formal.

So, you showed up at the party in the outfit above, but you notice everyone walking into the Sunday afternoon wedding is looking pretty damn formal... you feel dumb. Then you remember that you brought an extra tote with some formal accessories. You breath a sigh of relief. You can transform this look into fancy pants in mere seconds! Throw on some gold Stuart Weitzman heels, change your purse into this metallic Kate Spade number; a dramatic gold bib necklace is a great way to fill in the space between your head and the top of the dress, and with a necklace this dramatic, I'd go with simple earrings, like these from Anthropologie. Now you're ready to steal the show! And if your feet hurt from dancing too much, you know that you have your flats in the car!

This dress is an interesting shape (I personally LOVE the one shoulder look) but its in a great neutral color, especially if you're looking for something other than basic black. Imagine how great this dress would look with a tan! Anyhow, its easy to dress down this dress. Here I've paired it with simple stud earrings from Urban Outfitters, a cute basket weave clutch from Loft, a turqouise bracelet, also from Loft, and very low wedge metallic sandals from Bandolino. Because the dress is slightly dramatic because of the ruffle on the one shoulder, I've kept the accessories on the demure side.

You showed up for the anniversary dinner wearing the above outfit, and now you feel like a dirty hippie because you're the only one who isn't wearing high heels. Oh no! With some quick changes, you go from vacation casual to the best dressed girl in the room. Dramatic earrings and cuff bracelet, from Anthropologie (where else??) Faux python clutch, Cole Haan. Red rose shoes, Pierre Dumas (available at Piperlime.com - they're only $30!!) Its like you're fashion superman, only you're not a man and you don't have to change inside of a phone booth, or wear a weird blue unitard.

Here are some other basic dresses that could easily be dressed up or dressed down. You should probably pick up one of each.

Diane Von Furstenberg "baby doll" dress.


You know I love this dress, no only because its adorable but because its by Bcbg.

Basic doesn't have to be black - try this blue sheath from Banana Republic.

You don't have to spend a ton to get a basic dress. This gray dress is from American Eagle. Its not just for 15 year olds anymore.

The Curse of the Purse

Yes, today we're going to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart - pocketbooks. Call them what you will - pocketbooks, purses, bags - I love them all.

My mother was and still is a pocketbook addict. You've never seen anything like it. If I were to walk upstairs and open her closet, 6 purses, new and in their store bags, will fall out from the top of the closet. She buys them and stashes them in various places so that my dad won't know what she's bought. Cheap purses, expensive purses... it doesn't matter. Maria loves her purses. Sometimes she shops throughout the week, and leaves the purses in the trunk of her car, and only brings them in the house when she knows my dad will be out for awhile. QVC purses, Marshalls purses, Coach purses, Dooney purses... growing up with Maria as a mother was like growing up in purse wonderland.

Last year we had a yardsale. My mom toted out a big brown box, from the attic, full of purses. There must have been at least 40 of them, brand new... still stuffed with paper fresh from the store... 99% of which still had their tags on them. My dad has often asked my mother why she feels the need to own all of these pocketbooks, many of which she never EVER bothers to use.

Here's the sick part. She sees a purse in a store. She likes the purse a little bit. She may want to own it, or maybe not. But one things for damn sure - she doesn't want anyone ELSE to own that purse. And so, there are now probably about 150 purses populating my mothers bedroom someplace or another.

So, you really can't blame me for turning out like this.

I love a purse. I see a pocketbook and I see possibilities, destinations, jobs, people and adventures. A small straw Coach clutch? I'm wearing to the captains dinner on my next cruise. A sleek black tote? I'm a lawyer in a charcoal gray suit en route to trial. You get my drift. Purses to me are like a little bit of fantasy that I can purchase and keep at my side at all times. Who knows what I can accomplish with a Bcbg faux crock baguette in my grips!



Now lets get excited about some new bags! I'm excited, are you? I hope so. Journey with me!


First, lets talk about the basic bags that we all need in our closet. These are classic shapes and colors that are seasonless - timeless!



This black hobo, from Bcbg, in a buttery black leather can go from work to cocktails, and from January to June. Its generally unadorned, so you don't have to worry about it going out of style.




I'm an experienced bag lady. I've owned many bags from many different brands, and I have to tell you: no bag is as comfortable on the shoulder as a Coach. I have a very similar bag to this tan coach shoulder bag (modeled by Stella's cousin) and it has come along with me on many vacations because I don't even notice it on my shoulder. I'm not sure how they do it, but Coach bags evenly distribute the weight, with proportion to the shoulder strap, and despite how much crap you cram into the bag, it just will not cause you shoulder, neck or back pain. I promise. Invest in a Coach. You will never be sorry.


A classic shape that every working woman should own is the tote. Its great for all of your regular purse paraphernalia, but it can also accommodate papers, folders, books, your lunch, etc.



Here is a great tote, by Michael Kors, that I spotted in Marshalls East Islip today. It looks professional, and the leather is soft and supple. The gold hardware makes it look rich, I think. If I would have had a spare 219.99 I would own it right now.





There's nothing I hate more than seeing a woman at a wedding all dressed up - she has the perfect dress, shoes, jewelry... and she's wearing her big, old, every day pocketbook. Why? Clutches should be a staple in everyone's wardrobe! They're sleek and they complete the outfit. Trust me, you can leave your date book, 4 pens and 6 chapsticks at home that night. Wear the clutch. I beg you. Don't be the person I turn to Kristy to make fun of at the next wedding because your bag makes you look like a schlep.


Here are three of my go-to clutch bags. The animal print clutch, from Marshalls, was 7.99! A score! The blue clutch, from Loft, is a great color for the summer. The black clutch, which I wear often, I stole from my mom's closet. Go Maria!



If you're going to invest in one clutch, make it a basic black. This one, from Nine West, is a great day to evening bag because it is patent leather. It keeps it from looking too formal, like a satin bag might look.


Love this clutch, from Cole Haan, for a summer wedding or party.


Now, we'd all love to own a little Louis, but we can't all afford a little Louis. Per a special reader suggestion, this pouch (which is actually a makeup case) makes a great evening clutch - and its large enough so that maybe you CAN tote one or two of those pens along, if need be.





Many a time I've had plans to go out at night to someplace non-formal, like a bar, and choosing the right bag has become a quandary. Well, I certainly don't want to wear a clutch that I'm going to have to hold onto all night. I also don't want to have to tote around a big shoulder bag. This is why we all must invest in one or two "going out at night" bags.



Ok, so many people swear by the cross-body purse. Personally, I hate them. HATE. I think when people wear them they look like lost tourists. I don't care if its a Coach or a LV, I just think they look dumb. Like, a half of a step up from a fanny pack in my book. However, I found this cross-body bag, from Lucky Brand, and I think I could accept it. It makes me feel a little like Maid Marian, and I bet people will wonder if I have money in my pouch or gold coins and loose rubies.


Ah, the wristlet. I've said it once and I'll say it again - you have to have one. They're great at a bar; they're great on vacation; they can even stand-in for a clutch in a pinch. If you're going to purchase one, buy it in a neutral color like tan or black. This one, from Coach, is classic pebbled leather.



This bag, from Calvin Klein, is aptly named "The Date Bag." Its big enough to carry your necessities for the night, but not so bag that people will assume you have a cantaloupe in your bag.


This shoulder bag, from the Sak, comes in variety of cute colors. If you wear all black when you go out, like I do, b/c it makes you feel slimmer, a nice pop of metallic color would be a great accent.

Sometimes you want a neutral bag that you can wear with 78 different outfits.

But sometimes you just want to make a statement.



You want a bag that no one else has, but everyone else wants when they spy it on your shoulder.


Yes, the statement bag. We all need one. I might need 4.


How absolutely stunning is this yellow bag from Juicy Couture? Yes, Juicy. The brand that writes their name across the ass of many 18 year olds. Wow, this bag just looks rich. People will envy you when you wear this. I will envy you when you wear this.

This bag, which is a classic shape from Cole Haan, becomes a standout piece when constructed in bright white leather with navy trim.


If I saw you wearing this python purse, from Michael Kors, I'd assume it was chock full of $100 bills. How sleek would this look with a black suit and yellow pointy heels? LOVE it.


Here's a soft leather bright pink purse that I found at Marshalls today. I imagine you wearing it with dark, soft, wide leg jeans, a white tank and flat brown sandals. You have on thin, silver hoop earrings and this purse... and you look stunning.

This casual leopard print bag, also at Marshalls (I wonder if they were scared that I was there taking photos of purses today?) is only 12.99!! GO BUY IT.

A comfortable hobo shape... and a eye catching metallic color. Its so pretty, its almost a neutral.

This denim and red tote, from Dooney and Bourke, just screams "put papers and folders in me and carry me to work."

I've been known to sport a straw bag now and again. When I was in 5th grade I had this great straw bowling bag (not for bowling, obviously, just shaped like one) and I LOVED this bag. I wore it until the handles frayed and fell off.

There are some great "adult" versions of the straw bag. This one, from Michael Kors, is dressy enough to wear to work, but casual enough to wear to dinner on Ocean Beach.

Cutesy? Maybe. Sometimes you can get a way with reliving your childhood a little bit. In the summer at least. This bag, from Brighton, lets your inner child shine through.

I know that there must be a bag that you dream of. A bag that you think you could never possibly obtain. Maybe its too expensive... maybe its too impractical... maybe you think fate is meant to keep you apart forever. I beg you - give in to this impulse for once in your life! Just once though - I'm not telling you to blow the mortgage payment on a purse. But owning one status-y bag will warm your heart everytime you look at it - and I promise you'll walk a little taller everytime you wear it, because people notice. Trust me. They do.

Here's my baby Louis. I bought Louis when I was 24 and didn't have to worry about things like mortgage payments or medical bills. I happily plunked down $480 for this little guy. I remember that my mother told me, "don't tell your father how much that was! He'll want to start charging you rent!" Well, why would I have told him, first of all? I did slightly regret the purchase for a short time afterwards... it was twice what I paid for my monthly car payment, but now, years later, I'm glad I made the purchase when I was young and naive. I would never buy it now, however, if I did, the same bag now costs $665!!! Talk about wise investments!

I, personally, cannot imagine owning a Chanel bag. But I'd love to try. I'd definitely choose one in the classic quited style if someone was planning on giving me a free one.

Aw, how cute is this little bugger, from Burberry?

LOVE this Gucci bag. Must own this Gucci bag one day.

All this purse talk has made me hungry, and if there's something that I love almost as much as I love purses its CHEESE.

So, I'm going to tell you about one of my favorite (and easiest!) appetizers to make... The Brie en Croute, which in French means "Little purse full of cheese."

Ok, it doesn't, but if you think about it, it is like a purse full of cheese.

It sounds so fancy - and it looks just stunning on a platter - and it is the easiest thing to make. I make it often for parties or for bookclub, and there is rarely any left on the plate.

What you need: 1 sheet of defrosted puff pastry, 1 whole brie, seedless raspberry preserves

On a floured board with a floured rolling pin, roll out the pastry so that it is about 1/8 inch thick. Meanwhile, cut the rind off of the bottom and all around the "sides" of a wheel of brie. I leave the rind on one side of the brie. On the pastry, place about two tablespoons of the raspberry preserves. Top this area w/the brie, cheese side down, so that the part with the rind still on is facing you. Fold over the puff pastry so that it is completely sealed. Flip over. Brush the top with an egg wash, and bake, on parchement paper in a 375 degree oven until it is puffy and golden. Sometimes before I bake it I like to take the extra dough and make a little design depending on the party theme - sometimes a flower, sometimes grapes, etc.

This photo is NOT of one of my creations, however, it looks a lot like it and I could not find a close up photo of mine.

Here you can see my Brie en crout in action at bookclub, on the platter with grapes and berries in the center of the table. Try this recipe! I promise you - people will gobble it up.

Now if only we could all get together for a day of shopping and then a wine and cheese party afterwards...