Friday, August 1, 2014

New Location!!!

Hi all! Just a note that I have migrated my blog to a new site. All future posts can be found at

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Purse in Black Fled Across the Desert and Heather Followed

If you get that reference, then good for you for being a fan of The Dark Tower. If not, well, lets talk about purses anyway. But you should probably still read The Dark Tower series. Its like a really dark Harry Potter series for adults. 

Shhh. Listen. Do you hear that? The end of July is a whisper away and I can actually hear summer finally coming to an end. No more sweat. No more frizzy hair. Oh, stop it. No one can tell me they REALLY enjoy 98 degrees and 98% humidity. You don't. You yearn for fall. You just do. Comfortable sleeping weather... great hair days... scarves... jackets... 

I've mentioned in the past that I was definitely the girl decked out in boots and a sweater on the first day of school. These days, I'm more realistic. Now, I'm not going to lie to you and pretend that I haven't already made a boot purchase this month ($24.99 at Marshalls, say thank'ya) but I know that it will probably stay pretty darned warm through mid-October, and, yet, I must have some fall. I need fall. I want fall. I hunger for a little bit o'fall. And that brings us to today's topic...

Purses. Pocketbooks. Whatever you call them, God love 'em, they are that little piece of Autumn (I had to vary my syntax a bit, for artistic purposes) that you can wear today. Or tomorrow. OR August 17th. Will people look at you sideways if you show up to work on September 2nd in knee high boots, tights and a scarf? Yes. At least I will. Will you be a social outcast if you don a cute burgundy tote with your cream colored cami, a khaki skirt and a little navy blue short sleeved cardigan whilst the temps still top 90? Of course not. YOU WEAR THAT PURSE. You go and wear the shit out of that little fall purse. 

And so, here are some of my picks for super awesome excellent lovely fall bags. 

A black leather tote is a cold weather staple, in my opinion. I enjoy this one, from Coach, because it reminds me a little bit of something that I might wear in the 80's to a roller rink. Also, I feel like if my car breaks down those little metal bolts might be somehow useful. 

I know that many of you are "soooooo over" the Coach Signature C's. They will, however, always hold a special place in my heart. I look fondly back at the purchase of my first Coach bag (old Bayshore Macys!) probably when I was still in college, and I recall how toting around those little khaki C's made me feel so important and grown up. I had arrived at adulthood!  This little cross body reminds me of that age of innocence. Plus that little red hang tag is pretty adorable. Coach Factory.

This Kate Spade bag in a pinkish maroon color can be your go-to fall bag. Its structured and classic, but the color is interesting and bright enough to pair with both black and brown based outfits.

This is a bag from Lauren Merkin - its called "Florence" in caramel. Great, now I want caramel. And I want to go to Florence. Damn you, Merkin.
Lauren Merkin Mini Cece. Because this salmon pop of color will look adorable with all of your fall colors - Brown tweed skirt? Camel cords? Dark jeans and a olive green chunky sweater? Merkin knows what goes with this. Merkin is like a purse psychic. Damn, Merkin, you crazy.
Michael Kors Camo Cross body. No, I'm not crazy. Yes, I've seen Lofts weird collection of camo items for the fall. I think this little tiny cross over bag is just the right amount of camo. I'd probably throw this over dark skinnies, brown chunky boots and a white super baggy T with a big funky necklace and scarf in the early fall.
Sometimes you're poor, like me, and you can't afford to spend a car payment sized amount of cash on a bag. Or maybe you need a big tote for your work supplies and you just can't see filling an expensive bag with papers and pens and other crap. This Old Navy Tote is a nice black and white graphic print for fall, and it costs like 5 cents. I'd wear this with my knee length red wool coat and do some serious holiday shopping come November. I'd also pack a snack. Probably fritos.
This bag from Mod Cloth is called "Photography on the Promenade." Well, I want to be on a promenade. I want to take photographs. Logic dictates, then, that I must also own this purse.
This big slouchy brown tote is from Sole Society - its called Allessandra. I have nothing exciting to add to this.
This Tory Burch Lily saddle bag is near to my heart because it reminds me of a little saddle bag that I used to have in junior high. If it wasn't $24,899 I'd absolutely purchase it.

This classic shape from Tory Burch in grass green is a great late summer to fall transition piece. It also reminds me a little of Grace Kelly. I bet Jackie O would have loved this purse, and I bet that Kate Middleton owns it. Those three ladies know a little something about class and style.
And finally, if you're hungry, you can eat purses, like this random internet cat. 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Calling all flakey oily peely powdery fine lined ghosts!

Now, I watch my fair share of HGTV, so I fancy myself an expert in all things construction. As we know, you can't build a house without a foundation. I think if you try to do this, the wood that you built the walls with gets wet, becomes soil, and ground hogs come and live in it, like a smurf house. True story. 

The same thing will happen to you if you don't use proper foundation on your face. Well, a similar thing at least. I'm pretty sure that woodland creatures won't live in your ear holes,  but as with a house, a good foundation sets the stage for a good face, I guess. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but you get it. I hope. Its the crucial first layer when applying your makeup. 

Once upon a time I didn't have to even think about foundation.

Lets take a walk down memory lane... East Islip, 1999. Twenty-one year old Heather can go anywhere with nary a trace of makeup on her face. School. Work. Lily's on a Thursday for ladies night. Redness? Fine lines? Dark spots? Wrinkles? Brow furrows? Nope. Nothing. Nada. 

Look at me in my Forever 21 shirt drinking a Captain and Diet, not worry a damn about forehead creases. Oh, those were the days.

Then I turned thirty and all sorts of things started to go wrong. Years of furrowing my brow ala Arnold  of Different Strokes fame (whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?) have left permanent indentations in my face. Little lines around my mouth... ugh. Without makeup, for some reason, they're not as noticeable, but when I put on foundation, after 30 minutes or so I feel like it just sinks into every little crevice on my face and screams out 'HEY I'M CLEARLY OVER 30!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROOF ME FOR LIQUOR!!" 

I'd go foundation free, but I also have a bit of redness and a mild case of rosacea. I am a mess! 

Now I  have spent the last 6+ years trying to find a foundation that I am happy with - to no avail. I repeat - every foundation that I have tried has failed me and I cannot find one that works with my skin! Please help! Cream, Powder, Liquid - I've tried them all. 

My personal skin issues are probably the same as many of your issues:
1) the beginning of fine lines around my eyes and frown lines
2) slight redness, especially in my nose area
3) brow furrows and lines on my forehead
4) I look a little tired UNDER my eyes, even after 8 hours of sleep
5) My skin is oily but also tends to dry out around my nose and between my brows.

I found and fell in love with a liquid foundation from Clinique - Superfit Makeup. It went on smooth. It didn't settle into my little lines. I was in love.

And then, they discontinued it. 

 A rep from Clinique told me that they were replacing my beloved Superfit with the foundation below - Even Better Foundation. Despite its name, it was NOT better. It was heavy. It flaked. It settled right into the ridges between my brows and above my lips. It was returned, and I was sad.
As I have sensitive skin, I thought I'd make the foray into the mineral makeup scene. I tried Bare Minerals powder foundation. Although it looked great when I put it on, after about 2 hours it was just GONE. Its like my skin couldn't hold onto it - and I don't even have oily skin! By lunchtime it didn't even look as if I had put on any makeup at all the morning...
Lets move onto my current foundation - its the one that I've settled on that is just "ok." Its actually the third "type" in a line of ever evolving Clinque powder foundation products. I think its called Perfectly Real Compact makeup. The coverage is good, but like the Bare Minerals, it doesn't last all day. Usually around 3pm it starts to fade. It also sometimes makes my nose look a little peely. I'm underwhelmed, but haven't tried anything better yet.

I also tried mineral makeup from Physicians Formula. I found this to look a bit too "powdery" on my face - it was as if you could see a white coating of powder, especially on my nose.

I tried this CoverGirl Simply Ageless cream foundation, as it promised me that it would not sink into my lines, but, alas, it lied.

I actually just picked up this BB cream foundation from Physicians Formula the other day, and I am wearing it today. I'm undecided. I like the amount of coverage - its not too heavy, but it does mask my redness. And I don't have the powdery-peely look that some of the powder foundations seem to give me... but its a little wet? greasy? something. It will probably be great in the cooler weather, but its making me feel a little slimy today.

I bought this CC powder foundation from Physicians Formula and returned it today. It made me look like a ghost.

I also picked up this liquid foundation - can you tell I'm on a Physicians Formula kick? I haven't tried it yet, though.

Suggestions are welcome!! Please help take me from this:
 Back to this:

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Stitch Fix #12

Hello friends! Its that time again... that magical day when a little brown box appears on my doorstep containing items chosen just for me by some random lady in California. That's right, kids. Its Stitch Fix day.

I am going to be taking a short hiatus from SF after this one. As of today at 2:38 pm I officially have enough summer clothes... and my wallet has taken a beating lately. So, I scheduled my next fix for the end of August (just in time for back to school!) and after that I'll be getting fixes every other month. It just seems more responsible. 

If you want to learn  more about Stitch Fix, or if you want to try it out (you should, its fun!) follow this link and I'll get a referral credit (thanks in advance!)

This was a great fix. For some reason they swapped out my stylist for this one (I've had Melanie for 8 of my past 11 fixes) and a sassy gal named Jennifer clearly perused my Pinterest page when she put together my box. I kept three, but I could have made a case for the two shirts that I sent back. I asked for cute sleeveless tops. I'm always in a sleeveless shirt - even during the winter - so these will be year round items for me. I also asked for maxi dresses/skirts, but I suppose they didn't have any in my price range this time around (aka the cheaper the better)

The first top that they send me is this cobalt/royal blue top. I LOVE this shirt. It is a flattering fit. I love the side details, and I especially enjoy that they included a bonus nude cami to wear beneath it for those days when I don't want to feel like a prostitute. I was having a fat day until I saw these photos. LOVE this top. Keeper.

This second top was just ok. I kinda liked it better untied, as you can see in some of the photos, but it was just mediocre for me, so it went back.

PS - these shorts, from LOFT, got sent back, too. Hello Thunder Thighs.

This might be the shirt I've been looking for my whole life. It is my shirt soul mate. We said vows to each other in my closet last night with Clodette as witness, and now we're joined for life. This is a favorite color of mine, and the fit is sensational. Keeper.

I wanted to love this shirt. I had it pinned about 19 times on my SF board, but in person it fell short. It was, again, just ok. It was green and pink. Maybe if they would've sent the blue/yellow or blue/orange version I woudl have liked it more, but it just didn't tickle my fancy.

As you can see on my face, I was unsure about this top. Its funky, and I like that, but the weird side flaps threw me for a loop. In the end, Tom loved it, my mom loved it, and in a random poll of 11 friends, more than 1/2 liked it. So, I kept it. I'm actually wearing it right now and I'm glad I did. I already received 4 compliments on it today, and its hiding my post-cruise fat belly pretty well. Keeper.

In all, this fix was one of my favorites. I love having different items. I feel like 79 other girls have the same exact top as me when I purchase one at Loft, and Stitch Fix solves this issue. Give it a try! 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Just Because It Fits...

Hey ladies. Summer. Its hot. Do you know what that means?

Some ladies turn perfectly normal public places like the mall, the supermarket, a restaurant, etc into Skank City.

Just because it fits it does not mean you should wear it, friends! 

No, this is not a jealousy issue (ok, maybe a little) but when you get to a certain age, size, place in life, body structure, etc, there are certain things that (maybe) we were able to get away with wearing at age 19 that we should probably say goodbye to at age 32. One might argue that most, if not all of the items below, shouldn't be worn by anyone (I am one of those people) but if you must wear any of the following...

Short Shorts
Backless tops & dresses
Mini-skirts & Mini-dresses
Shoes that boarder on whore-ish

...then please let me show you some versions of the items that, I believe, are acceptable to wear into public places as adults. I was also going to address a bare midriff, but honestly - if you're an adult, and you're not wearing a swimsuit for the purpose for which it was intended, we shouldn't see your naked belly in public. Ever. Period. End of story. Sorry!

Here are some looks that I think are skanky, and similar looks that I think are wearable.

Do I wish I had this girls (clearly photoshopped) body? Yes, of course I do. Would I wear this item if I did? Only if it was in my 10th grade dance recital and the top of the ensemble involved some sort of a fringed elbow length glove and a silver cowboy hat. 
You're thin, we get it. The world does not need to see your bedazzeled ass cheek.

Here is the exception. If you're a man about town in a golf shirt and you want to squeeze yourself into a pair of junior size 3 shorts, I say go ahead. I'm entertained.
You CAN wear "short" shorts. I don't, personally, wear them b/c I have the legs of an old Italian lady, but you can wear them. Just, please... we don't need to see any body parts that are integral in bathroom activities when you're out food shopping in them. Personally, I opt for a 6 inch inseam, but these are 3.5 inches (from Loft) and I think they're very classy.
This pair, also around 3 inches in the inseam, is from Old Navy. You'll be comfortable and people won't cover their children's eyes when you walk past them.

Backless is tricky. Its very easy to go slutty, like this painful looking number:
Or this, one, which appears to be from some sort of a Motley Crue video circa 1985.

You can do backless and not look like a street walker, though:
I'm not sure I'd go with the pink lace under-bra thing, but this top is backless and classy, I think. I'd probably go with a neutral bandeau, or maybe one of those sticky bras so that I could go completely backless. From VS.

Mini-dresses and mini-skirts. Its a slippery slope, ladies. I'm going to be blunt with you. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you should. Many disagree with me, but once you're on the wrong side of 25, I say that mini-anything, with few exceptions, is off-limits.
Clearly this lady has had a few too many.
If you MUST go super short, for God's sake, please do a shift shape. The looser body of the dress definitely helps a mini-dress look less hooker-ish. From Anthropologie:

From Dolce & Gabbana (probably like $5000, but isn't that worth it in order to look like a lovely spring garden?)
Now here are some summer shoe do's and don'ts.

Just don't. Boots go up to the knee. Any other type of shoe just cannot. CANNOT.

A gladiator can go to the ankle - and no higher!! These are lovely, from Steven Madden.

If your name is something like Snowy, Candee or Bambi, I suppose these might be a great pick for you:
I broke an ankle just looking at these:
If you're not a pole dancer, try a pair like these instead; this pair is from Nine West, makes me think of Greece, where I have never been. But I'd still like this shoe.
This pair, from Jimmy Choo may cost 2 paychecks, but its a classic shape.

There you have it. My guide on how to not be a skank this summer. We're adults now, ladies. No one needs to see your nipple.