The Cold Weather Trinity

I know, I know... you're sad and depressed that summer is over. You're further sad and depressed because we've now "lost" an hour of daylight thanks to daylight savings... I know you are sad and depressed about this because I've read it ad nauseum on my Facebook feed daily for the last two months.

Stop your crying. Don't you know, don't you know that the chilly weather period just prior to the "oh my God/Yahweh it's snowing 12 inches daily which I also know because I've seen 40 pictures of snow on my Facebook feed" period of weather is really and truly the best clothing season of all? Oh it is.

Sure, we all love the warm weather... at first. I'll freely admit that on that first warm day in April I'm the first person who can be found digging out my capri pants and throwing on a sleeveless yellow tank top prematurely. But who among us, after a week and a half of 85 degree weather, isn't complaining about the heat, the sweat, the frizzy hair, etc? And, might I challenge you further, who among us enjoys things like sweaty pit stains, toe blisters from too-tight strappy sandals and visible cellulite? None of you, unless some of you are masochists, you sick bastards. In which case, I have a pair of annoying Steve Madden gladiators to bequeath unto you.

But the Autumn and early winter... those are the days during which we can all equally embrace comfort and good body image. How, you ask, do I - someone with fat blister prone feet and a lump or two on my bottom half - achieve Fall Fashion enlightenment? Well, the answer to that, my friend, is the Fall and Winter Holy Trinity of clothing; boots + jackets + pretty scarves = fantastic. Excellent. Thin, put together, comfortable, wonderful, and all other kinds of positive adjectives.

Let me elucidate.

Boots. For me, boots are the highlight of the cold weather. Not only do they look lovely, but, as a special added bonus - you get to wear socks! Any socks! Here a sock, there a sock, everywhere a sock sock! Here's a secret - I often wear 80's style scrunch socks beneath my beautifully polished leather boots. Nary a blister to be found.

Jackets. I'm not sure why, but I just feel like a good jacket is the cherry on the top of my clothing sundae, especially when they have a fitted shape.

Scarves. I used to do theatre, and therefore I love scarves. They make an otherwise boring outfit seem artsy and interesting. They bring color near your face and brighten your eyes and complexion. In a pinch, you can use one a kite. Go buy some scarves.

What does one wear beneath the holy trinity, you ask? My go-to outfit, right now, are dark dark DARK wash jeans and a black turtleneck, but any old jeans/top combination will do; try swapping out the jeans for black dress pants, a denim skirt, khakis, gray tweed pants... the possibilities are endless.

I forced my husband to photograph me today in this outfit. Its a favorite. Here I am in Loft jeans... a Loft black turtleneck... Loft jacket... and, you guessed it, Loft boots. The scarf, just to shake things up a bit, is from my other favorite store, Marshalls. It was $7.99. As a sidenote, don't ever discount Ebay as a great place to peruse for fashion favorites - I purchased this tweed jacket AND the leather boots on Ebay - both new with tags - for $15 each. It was a proud day for me when they both arrived. Almost like I gave birth, but without the mess.

These are the base pieces that I'm currently in love with. The dark wash boot cut jeans are from Loft, as is the black relaxed fit turtleneck (which, incidentally, I'm actually wearing right now)

If you're just starting to build your jacket wardrobe, might I suggest a neutral, like this charcoal gray item from Loft?

You don't have to spend a ton to get a great little jacket - this one is from Old Navy. Its probably like $2.

Not sure why, but I'm strangely drawn to this tweed/leather combination jacket from The Limited. It makes me feel like I'm still an English Professor, but maybe I also ride a motorcycle. You never know with me. Although, I have to say, the skirt they've paired it with totally doesn't match. I'd love it with a dark denim pencil skirt and knee high boots.

Sometimes we all get melancholy in the cold weather months, so why not brighten your mood with a pretty jacket like this one, from Boden USA.

I like this jacket, from Anthropologie, because if I wore it I'd feel like a really sexy bagpiper.

I've been coveting these boots, from Bandolino (available on Piperlime) for months. Alas, I found a similar pair from Loft on Ebay for $15. Yes, I know I've already told you that, but I'm really proud of that purchase. These are such a nice, classic shape, and the small platform makes them easy to walk in.

Back pain? Yeah, me too. On those days, I wear a wedge boot. These are also from Bandolino.

Oh. My. God. I love these boots, from Nine West. What a classic shape that will never go out of style - and they're available in three colors. I love them in this camel color. They feel so "Ivy League School in the 70's" to me.

These boots, from Steve Madden, are so different and interesting. The wedge makes them comfortable; the weird gray-taupe color makes them edgy. I want them.

A boot with built in socks, you say?? Sign me up. From Ugg Australia.

I'd put on this scarf in mid-November and it would remind me of the deep blue waters of the Adriatic Sea. Which I've never seen. But I can easily see this scarf, because its from Old Navy.

I like this scarf, from Loft, but can't really think of anything witty to say about it.

This scarf, from the Limited, is like really attractive camo. This is what they'd make me wear if I enlisted, I assume.

I have this scarf, from Anthropologie, on my Christmas wish list.

If you buy this scarf, from Anthropologie, you can tell people that you made it, because it sort of has that handmade look.

Next up... Turbans and Polka dots... they're not just for people in Turkey anymore.

Raindrops keep falling on my feet...

There are so many major problems plaguing our world today.

Hunger. Disease. Poverty. Wet feet in June because you're not sure what shoe to wear that is simultaneously seasonal and protective.

Since Bono isn't working on the latter issue, I thought I'd share a few of my ideas with you about what to wear on your tootsies during warm, albeit wet, weather.

Who among us hasn't suffered an annoying wet foot experience on a wet May morning? Its hot. You can't possibly wear closed toe heels because your sausage feet swell in the heat and the incline is just unbearable... but, conversely you also can't see wearing your new flat Steve Madden gladiators, because you'll have wet-between-the-toes syndrome all morning long. Fear not! I've scoured the Internet and found you some shoes that are puddle proof (well, don't jump right into a puddle - you're not 8 years old for God's sake) but also summery and attractive. If you want my advice, I'd pair all of these shoes with some sort of ankle length pant. I'm partial to the khaki, but they'd all be great with dark jeans, olive green, white, etc. Go ahead and wear some of them with skirts, but it kind of defeats the purpose of dressing for inclement weather if your legs are going to get soaked, now isn't it?


Even though it might be raining, these yellow leather flats, from Boden, will make you feel happy and keep your toes dry.


You want to look summery, but you also hate wet toes. Try these closed toe denim espadrilles, from Boden.

Who knew Boden had such cute shoes, like these little moccasins? Who even knew Boden existed??

These flats, from Burberry, are like little blue rain slickers.

I'd wear these flats, from Crocs, in the rain and feel like a tennis superstar, but I wouldn't be wearing a tennis skirt because those are rather short.

I HATE rainboots. Hate hate hate. Sorry Jps. But these wedge boots, from Hunter, might have me converted.

Rainy outside but a tropical beach on your feet, from Lucky Brand.

You're so damn high off the ground in these espadrilles, from Steve Madden, that you could wade through a lake and not get wet. You may, however, break an ankle. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Maybe you hate cloggs, but I love them. I had a black pair in high school that I wore to death. I'd wear this pair, from Uggs, and feel like a eclectic hippie, but one who bathes regularly.

Black patent flats, like these from Vaneli, are my wet weather staples. Plus the brand name reminds me of my favorite band, Milli Vanilli.

I'm not a big fan of sneakers. I only wear them when I have to, like at the gym. These shoe-sneaker hybrid things, from sketchers, are kind of cute, though. I'd wear them with khakis and a little white sweater on a rainy day.

Now, if only there was a closed toe shoe that isn't the mortal enemy of the pedicure...

Island party + cash bar = What do I wear?!?

Oh no! You have some sort of out-of-state event to attend and you don't know what to wear! Lets imagine its a 2 day long event... lets imagine its a reunion... lets imagine that you want to get ALL of your shopping done for this fictitious reunion done at ONE shopping center... lets imagine you live in West Babylon and so you'd like to do all of your shopping at the South Bay shopping center in Babylon. Remember, this is all hypothetical. Well, fear not - I have some picks for you (the archetypal "you" as I've mentioned this is not directed at a specific person at all, Christine)

Now, the first evening of the "reunion" in my fake story involves some sort of kick off party, with light Hors d'ouerves, a cash bar and casual attire. Now, while I'm appalled at the very notion of a cash bar, this is what I would wear to such an event.

I have two choices. Now, its a reunion, so I want to feel thin. I always feel thinnest in pants (as they cover my ham hocks) that are a DARK color. Jeans are especially lovely b/c they're a heavy fabric that suck me in. I'd pair some trouser jeans with a flowy top. Both here are from Loft (all of the items here can be found at the stores at South Bay shopping center!)







As a second option, I sometimes like to throw on the combination of a loose skirt, a tank, and a little sweater. Now, I actually own all of the items below, from Loft. The skirt is NOT nearly as short as it appears here. Regarding that tank top - it may look like a plain old white tank, but it has nice, thick straps that allow you to wear a good bra beneath it. I wouldn't necessarily put these colors together, but the white skirt looked mediocre in the picture so I chose the brown. (note - I own the white version of it and it is NOT mediocre!)

With both outfits, I'd choose a super casual flat shoe, like my favorite Havaianaiaiaas flip flops.

Now, perhaps the second night of the reunion extravaganza is something like... oh, I don't know... A Celebration!! Reception!! Cash bar. Class Photo!! Dinner!! Dancing!! Island Party Attire!! You may ask yourself, what in the hell is Island party attire? Well, I have no clue, but if I were invited to an island party I'd wear some sort of tropical looking dress. Here are a few Island party-ish dresses that I'd choose:

Loft:

NY&Co (note - it comes in several other very tropical color combinations)

Dress Barn:

Dress Barn:

Now, if it gets chilly, or if you just prefer to have your upper arms covered, carry a sweater or bolero with you that night.

Dress Barn:

Loft (ps - I own that zebra top and I LOVE it. I think its on clearance now! Go buy!)

I don't know if you're like me or not, but lately my knees just cannot handle high heels. These are flat but very dressy and adorable. From Loft.

These are very cute denim wedges, from Payless.

And a simple brown high heeled sandal, also from Payless.

Don't make me angry and carry your regular purse with any of these outfits - on both Island Party day or light Hor d'ourves cash bar day! These cute little clutches are from NY&Co.

Hope this helps :) Have a great time and enjoy some rice pudding while you're there!

Nobody puts Baby in ugly clothes

It seems as if everyone I know is either expecting or toting around an infant. In light of this, I thought I'd do a mini-blog about summer maternity clothes.

I am not pregnant (praise Jesus, as I have no insurance, no money and no room for a child) but apparently all of you are, and the fact of the matter is, you need things to wear. If you're going to be enormous in the summer months, you probably want to be as cool and comfortable as possible. You probably also don't want to blow tons of cash on clothes that are only temporary members of your wardrobe.

No fear. Here are the top 13 (why do I always end up with 13 items??) that I would invest in if I had a baby on board (again, for all of you relatives that read this blog, I do NOT. Isn't 4 cats enough for now? Jeez)

First and foremost, please don't ever ever EVER (ever!) wear a shirt like this. Its not cute, its not ironic, its just white trash.


Now that we've gotten that over with, here are a few items that you should invest in, and that will take you through your pregnant summer, and afterwards when you have that empty baby belly pocket thingy.


A good stretchy wrap dress, like this one from Loft Maternity, will take you from 3 months in until 5 months after.


You're probably going to be really fat and sweating a lot, so why not go sleeveless? I'd wear this one, and that's just b/c I have a large belly regularly. Old Navy.


Stock up on some cute, but cheap, tops like this one, from Old Navy.

A very cute wear-to-work option, by Heidi Klum for Motherhood.

Need a little sweater but don't enjoy how the buttons pull open across your belly? Try a flowey number like this one, from A Pea in a Pod.

These pants, from Old Navy, look like jeans, but they're actually a light chambray cotton.

These cropped dress pants, from Loft, come in tan and black. Buy both and they'll get you through the whole summer at work.

I have to say, Old Navy has some very cute maternity things. This skirt would be great with a plain tank and flip flops, and it comes in multiple colors.

Think you have to give up your favorite denim pencil skirt for 9 months? Nope! Yay for Old Navy again.

I never let the world see me in a swimsuit regularly, but for those of you who do and are expecting, more power to you. This is a cute suit, from A Pea in a Pod.

You need a huge tote to carry around all sorts of baby paraphernalia, so why not at least carry around a stylish one like this Michael Kors straw tote? Its called the "Santorini" tote, so it will remind you of all the vacations you'll never be able to take anymore b/c of your new addition.

These flat shoes, from Kenneth Cole, look wide and comfortable. They come in several other colors and look cute with pants and skirts.

I think that these sandals, from Steve Madden, are ideal for all y'all pregnant ladies. They're flat, and they don't hug the ankles, which I've heard are destined to swell, so you won't feel pedi-claustrophobic.

Next problem that I'll tackle: What to wear on your feet when its the summer AND its raining.