Kitty Cooks in Heels: Silver and Gold...

One day, I was walking through the forest thinking about how much I really wanted to become a dentist. As I was playing with some baby bunnies and raccoons, a wise old snowman came by and taught me, in song, the merits of silver and gold. Later that day, we had another chat, and he also taught me about the value of sparkles, sequins and satin. As you might suspect, that part didn't quite make the edited version of the show, but I've been forever changed.

Allow me to share with you the knowledge this learned snowman-fashionista imparted upon me.

I truly think that even the most demure and plain females have some sort of a soft spot for the occasional sparkle. I'm not suggesting that we all break out our bedazzlers. I'm talking about a metallic scarf here, a blue satin shoe there, a great big dangly earring over here... After all, 'tis the season where you can wear sequins during the day and not have people look at you sideways.

I think our penchant for glittery things stems from our childhoods. Who among us didn't long for Jem's super awesome silver reversible belt with fringe? One year, I think perhaps around fourth or fifth grade, when doing our annual back-to-school shopping extravaganza, my mom allowed me to purchase the most awesome of awesome sweatshirts. Oh, how I loved this sweatshirt. It was littered with sparkly puffy paint and sequins... there were rhinestones, gems, and even small mirrors glued onto the shirt! Every night before the first day of school I would lay this stunner out on the bed and marvel in all of its shiny sparkly beauty. Even now, I think back upon the shirt, and smile.

As you might presume, I had quite high expectations when shopping for my junior prom dress. I longed for something different, something fashionable, something that no one else would have on or have even though of.

And then I stepped into Macy's in Bay Shore. There it was.

A sleeveless, mini-shift... black, and just covered in little white sparkles. My heart skipped a beat. It was only $39! Could this be? Oh, it was.

When we walked into the junior prom in East Islip High School's elegant cafeteria, every eye in the room turned to look. It may have been that we arrived 2 hours late and everyone was sitting down to eat their dinner and they were merely curious as to who was walking into the room, but we all know the truth was, that every member of the class of 1996 was fixated by my sparkly mini dress.

Here are some of my shiny/sparkly/twinkly pics for this holiday season.

I'd look like a big uncooked sausage if I wore this dress, but on the right person I think it would be absolutely stunning. Bcbg.

If someone decides to invite me to a formal-ish party this year, I might buy this dress, from Ann Taylor. Or maybe I'll buy it anyway and just wear it to bookclub.

Here's a more accessible (aka cheap) option from Old Navy. Its a great classic shape/color to have in your wardrobe.

The forgiving shape of this dress reminds me of my Junior prom dress. I thought I was the most stylish gal in the room that night (see my witty anecdote, above) From Mink Pink.

The limited has some great dresses, like this strapless gunmetal/lace number below. Alas, there are no locations near me.

And another great dress from the Limited. This is especially good for you big busted gals out there, as you can easily hide a supportive bra beneath the thicker straps. I'm not a member of that club, but I enjoy this dress anyway.

I almost wish I was still a bar whore, so that I'd have someplace to wear all of these cute festive tops, with a pair of dark jeans and boots. MM Couture

This sweater is great for a casual holiday party; you want to look festive, but you know you'll be sitting on a couch and/or playing pictionary, so you also want to be comfortable. Guess.

A shiny satin top with lace arm inserts, from Express, just screams "I love to dress up, but I also enjoy revealing a one inch by 7 inch patch of my upper arm." And really, who doesn't want to scream that?

If I were Amish, like Molly, I'd wear this lace turtlenec, from Bcbg.

This sparkly tank, from Banana Republic, is festive yet loose on the belly. So, feel free to enjoy several dozen spanikopita and a few Cosmos. No one will see your bloat.

I really want this top, from Arden B, because I would feel like a special blue springtime fairy when I put it on. Or maybe just like I was reliving my 4th grade dance recital. Either one.

Oh Arden B. I long to put this top on my 26 year old body. Alas, my current 32 year old body would probably looked like a brachiole if I wore it. Its pretty and satiny though. (ps - why am I referencing so many Italian sauce meats today?)

I love this shiny halter, from Ann Taylor. Great for New Years Eve with a pair of black pants.

Your favorite pencil skirt just got a lot more fun, because as we all know gold + animal print + pencil skirt = fun. From Loft.

This bandage style skirt, from the Limited, is actually more flattering than you'd think, because it really sucks you in. Plus if anyone needs a tourniquet you can just rip off a layer of skirt.

I really enjoy this pencil skirt from Arden B. It makes me feel like the spawn of a 40's secretary and a 80's stripper.

Nobody would have put Baby in the corner if she was wearing these sparkly platforms, from Steve Madden

Need ankle support and sparkly loveliness all in one? Try these heels, from Nine West.

These platform heels, from Nine West, would be great for work as well as festivities afterwards.

Well aren't you a little coquette in these heels from Nine West!

Usually Betsy Johnson's designs are too out there and weird for my taste, but these lace shoes are adorable, and actually look comfortable to me for some reason. I want them.

Wow, these shoes look like they'd be torture to wear, but I'm strangely drawn to them. Call it Stockholm Shoe Syndrome. Bcbg.

One of these days, when I have an extra $300 laying around, I will invest in a clutch from Lauren Merkin. Here is the same style purse in metallic, and then metallic animal print. Roar.

A classic black clutch, from Steve Madden.

These majestic earrings, from Juicy Couture, look as if you stole them from the safe of the Duchess of Gloucester. (yeah, I don't know where I come up with some of this stuff either. My head is a giant labyrinth of randomness)